"Having a child to carry on the family name is a traditional concept for me. I am actually a supporter of creationism, so I sometimes think, ‘Why does transgender appear?’" LU Zi-Heng
Is gender a label of matter? Or is it something that can be changed? This is our first time to openly discuss gender, therefore, no matter what point of view you have, it is a good thing to open your mind to different kinds of voices and broaden your horizons.
The Body With The Wrong Soul
LU Zi-Heng is often photographed for fashion magazines, and has also filmed MV for Asiaboy. He may look masculine on the outside but he was actually born with a female gender. He said he became conscious that he gradually realised that he isn’t a female. LU Zi-Heng, who believes in creationism, feels very baffled by the fact that the soul is in the wrong body. "Why should a soul have the wrong body? Why should this happen? I find it very inexplicable."
He changed his name when he was doing his master’s degree and started consulting with a psychiatrist two years ago for his gender identity. LU Zi-Heng had a complete plan for his transition. "Before my hormone therapy, I was very averse to wearing any women's clothing, but after my hormone therapy, I started to accept some women's clothes and accessories. I think the change is very interesting." He continued " I was very distressed when I was a child. I remember that when I was a child, my teacher stipulated me to wear a skirt. But I felt very uneasy, I finally put on pants at school. Later, I was called to in front of all my classmates and was beaten by the teacher and had bruises all over my hands..." For This childhood memory, LU Zi-Heng thinks it is just a matter of not wearing a skirt, so is it necessary to be punished like this? This incident not only reflects the seriousness of the gender stereotype in Taiwanese society, but also indirectly points out that the promotion of gender equality in Taiwan is still not so comprehensive.
Transgender Does Exist
"Before the hormone therapy, I was actually quite worried. I was worried about whether I would become another person. I was worried about whether I would become ugly." LU Zi-Heng was still worried about himself before starting his body correction work. In the end, it turned out that his worries were all overthinking, because now he has gradually become what he wants to be.
LU, who has a movie background, said that he does not want to make his story into a movie, but this does not mean that he does not think transgender does not need to be filmed. "Actually, the scripts I write are more about family relationships. For me, it's not that I don't want to tell my story, but I prefer to let more professional people speak for us." Although LU Zi-Heng does not want to shoot transgender-themed films, he still uses his own actions to let the public know more about the fact that transgender people actually exist in this society. "Everyone still freaks out when I'm asked to see my ID, because I didn't change my gender to male, and to be honest I'm not in a hurry to change it, because every time something like this happens , for me, it is also silently telling everyone that "transgender is a real existence in society"."
Live With Scars
There are still many people in Taiwan who have suffered many setbacks in their gender identity process because of the false openness of society. Taiwan may be the most open country in Asia, but there is still room for improvement. After birth, each person has a different identity with himself because of the generation of soul and consciousness. No matter whether the final result is as you expected it to be or not, we should review the journey we have traveled along the way. That’s okay, but don't ignore yourself if you feel hurt." I hope that one day free souls can fly freely.
EDITOR Dylan TANG
FASHION Xuan CHEN
PHOTOGRAPHY Jhen-Ying LIN
MUAH Sundia WEN
MUAH ASSISTANT Malenie WANG